lunes, 17 de diciembre de 2007

Volvió la alegría, vieja!

Comienza tranmisión. Imagen: Ojo de gran hermano. Desvanece a sucesión de pequeñas escenas entrecortadas por trozos musicales de compositores populares electrónicos. En el suelo cierra los ojos Daniel ---> ojo de gran hermano y Hernan Cattaneo ---> Laura empuña una 44 gris, fx: sonido de ambiente "vas a morir, perra" ---> ojo de gran hermano y misma música, en plan electrosupenso (chan, chara chan chaaaan) ---> De perfil la cara, en tonos verdes, de jorge, angustiado, fx ambiente: "dijiste que se iba con el agua" detrás, también de perfil, asoma la cara de martín mirando el horizonte, que estaba tapada por la de Jorge fx ambiente: "la vida es una mierda, Jorge..." ---> ojo de gran hermano, música de Bajofondo ---> Walter, tangostyle, bebe solo, en el baño, vodka fx ambiente: "perseguiré... los rastros de este afán" (se quiebra)


--->Ojo de gran hermano. Esta vez se trata de una pantalla en el estudio, con el Requiem de Mozart, la cámara se desliza hasta un atril en medio del estudio. Detrás se hallan tres terroristas... o algo así. Remeras rojas, con martillos y la hoces amarillas. Un par de zapatillas Nike, un par adidas y unos zapatos-sandalia Lady Store, cierran la indumentaria de los encapuchados. A los costados: El viejo círculo de panelistas ocupado por: Desde el fondo, a la derecha: Rozín, acongojado, Beto, con la sonrisa tatuada (de la frula de Silvia que se afanó aprovechando el quilombo) y Osvaldo (los vigila). Del otro lado: Valeria Massa (al enfocarla la cámara saluda y le tira besos a la encapuchada de zapatos-sandalia Lady Store), Elsa Drucaroff y Sergio Di Nucci. No lo vemos, pero se están tomando de la mano.






























Buenas Noches. (suena clarín triunfal) A continuación el compañero dara paso a la lectura del Comunicado Número Uno del Sindicato de Intelectuales Comprometidos, Pensadores Sesudos, Literatos, Snobs, Pedófilos y afines.







(salta) ¿Pedófilos? ¿Qué tienen que ver?








Son personas marginadas y perseguidas, como nosotros...









Y tenían una casaquinta con pileta...







Ahhh...








Para hacer los asados, viste?









claro, claro... sigan.









(es la de los zapatossandalia) ¡¡¡COMENICAAAEEEEEDO NOOOMERO UNO!!!







A toda la población. Ponemos en vuestro excelentísimo conocimiento que, en la potestad de primordiales comprendedores del criterio de realidad aplicada por los mecanismos de control y subordinación discursiva, transmitida y autrorreproducida en pluriinstituciones y...




(tiene un tono raro, como cansado de pelotudeces, como de un hombre que ha perdido a sus hijos en el ejército revolucionario más importante de latinoamerica para, treinta años después, tener que escuchar en boca de los mediocres que vomita dios, que "lo malo son los extremos", como de alguien que hubiera vivido el infierno viendo a su mujer perder la capacidad de raciocinio, agobiada por la inmensidad de imaginar a sus hijos torturados, para que treinta años después, sigan corriendo por derecha a los gobiernos neoliberales): Resuma, camarada...




Bueno, si. Ehhh, tomamos el control del lugar. (ofuscado por haber sido apurado. Había preparado un discurso de veinte minutos para decir eso. Calla como callan los que han vivido exiliados desde bastante antes y hasta bastante después, por ejemplo, en México. Como los Enanitos Verdes).



(algarabía y aplausos, luego silencio general. Por fín, silencio incómodo)




Ja, ja...









¿De qué te reís?








¿eh?









¿De qué te reís?








Yo no me reí.









Continúe, camarada, por favor.








ja, ja, ja...









no sé que seguía...









¡Las reivindicaciones, carajo!








Ahhh si. ¡EXIGIMOS!









(más bien se lo escucha de fondo) che, está re duro este chabón...









¿Qué? No, yo no. Es que me acordé de un chiste.








Primero: que se nos consulte acerca de cualquier desición política, social, ética o económica. No precisamos que se nos haga caso, de hecho, si no nos llevan la corriente, mejor, así nunca nos quemamos y seguimos criticando. ¡Pero que alguien nos consulte!








No sé como te podés reir en un momento así...








¿qué?








Silencio.









Segundo: que se nos discuta: no vale que nos den siempre la razón de los locos. Y que haya algún tipo de profesional de humanidades en cargos jerárquicos, ya no decimos presidente, pero al menos un vice monigote, aunque sea, un antropólogo.





(vemos a Valeria Mazza dándo calurosos consejos estéticos a Elsa y a Sergio, sobresalen algunas palabras por su microfono. "no es necesario que el jean se ajuste arriba y abajo" "combinar cinturón y medias" "shampóó revitalizante" "viagra" "botox")





Eso sería segundo y tercero. Son dos cosas.










¡Te callás!








La discusión y lo de los cargos...








(se dobla de risa) jua, jua...








Tercero: No intenten venir a sacarnos. Hemos traido buenos amigos y colegas (encapuchado 1 y Valeria Mazza comparten un guiño de complicidad. A Sergio se le humedecen los ojos cuando Elsa se agarra impulsivamente de su brazo, emocionada)




(aplauso general. Después silencio. Por fín, otro silencio incómodo).





¿Y ahora?









No sé. ¿Qué hacemos David?








¡aijuna, gilastro!









¿Qué?









No lo nomines...









ups...









¡pedazo de cafre!








Ay, bueno, igual era bastante obvio.






(Encapuchado 3 le saca la capucha a encapuchado 2, revelándose que era Noe, quien sale corriendo a los gritos ¡no me mireeen, no me mireeen!: Nunca se había sacado la pintura de indio)





Corré, vigliaco...









Che, pero tiene razón, algo tenemos que hacer hasta que nos cumplan los pedidos.








¡no!






(todos) ¿No qué?





(Los mira atónito. Como diciendo "no qué ¿qué?")









No le hagan caso...








...podés usar una boina, si usas alguna franela color mostaza, para el verano...










Sería lindo ¿no?









A mi me parecés lindo así (se ruboriza y se arrepiente de haberlo dicho. Mira hacia atras)








Y... manden las imágenes del programa...










Si, claro, como si alguien las hubiera editado...







(sobrador) ja, pero vos te olvidas que esto es gh de letras, y de la histórica fraternidad entre la gente de Letras y la de Edición.







Malaya ¿Más de esos degenerados encerrados?









Y... algo tenemos que hacer...









Y vos... ¿No querés hacer algo?








Ay, che...a esta altura ¿te parece que estamos para esto?









Si le pido el Viagra a Elsa y le sumo la milonga de Sylvia...








Te va a reventar el bobo, mejor te lustro la bondiola...









Bueno, dale negra. Igual no sé donde quedó la milonga.





(se escuchan disparos, Casella sale corriendo, cruza el estudio, se tira de cabeza en la tribuna. Lo persigue una desquiciada Sylvia Delfino, disparando y corriendo, al grito de "¡Devolvé la bolsa, hijo de puta!")







¿Vemos las imágenes?






--------------





¡Celina! ¿Podés oirme? ¿Sabés quien soy?







y así... muero...








¡Osito! Te voy a extrañar









No llores por las heridas, que no paran de sangrar...




(Walter le hace los coros notablemente sentidos)




No llores por mí, Argentina...





Entran Martín y Jorge. Miran, sorprendidos la escena. Luego se miran entre ellos. Luego miran a cámara. Por fín




Che, el azucar?







-----

Daniel está inconsciente.



Daniel... ¡Daniel! Dios mio, no respira.






(Arrodillada, Marcela recuerda cuando, de niña, tuvo que socorrer a su perro, un labrador atropellado por un tractor... símbolo del avance inmiscericorde del capitalismo. El bobby se murió porque Marcelita no sabía RCP. El trigo silbaba cuando el viento lo doblaba aquella tarde. El sol se iba y Marcelita lloraba al lado de la carretera, junto al cuerpo de su amigo)




No, no de nuevo. ¡No de nuevo!






(Con suave firmeza abre la boca de Daniel y, como decirlo... se sumerge en ella. Recorre suavemente las encías suaves de Daniel con su lengua. Es algo áspera, pero aun conserva la curiosidad inocente, la lujuria infantil de aquellos años en el campo... cuando con bobby... En eso, entra Roberto, abrazando y consolando a Delfina. Chan total)



¡¡Marcela!!








¡¡Daniel!!






--------------




¡Martín!








¿Qué?







¿No ves que Celina está sangrando?







Ay, es verdad... ¿Qué paso nena? ¿Querés limonada?








(escupe sangre)







Jorge... te pusiste... brócoli en la cara?








Es crema antiexfoliante.








Lo usual es usar cremas exfoliantes.








Eso dije.








No, no, dijiste... ah, dejá.








Martín, quiero soda. Ponele soda Martín.







Soda... soda... ¡soda! Daniel está herido, necesita agua oxigenada.








Tengo crema exfoliante.







------------------





¿Qué pasó?







Si, hacete el pelotudo. Mucha marcha del orgullo pero a la hora de las papas...








Pero...







No te muevas Daniel, estás herido.








En cuanto te cures, avisame, porque te voy a retar a duelo.








No seas ridículo, Roberto. Lo nuestro fue un juego nomas. No te amo.








Como podes ser tan cruel. Perra.









Callate patética.





(Delfina se asusta, pero lo disimula corriendo al jardín. Se tapa la cara con las manos. Tal vez el llanto sea real. Entra Walter)




¿Daniel? ¿Qué pasó?









No sé... yo iba ganando... bastante bien... después... no sé que pasó...






Sombras, nada más...








No, no, digo...







Dejá Daniel. Tenés que descansar.








(sonríe agradecido) Sos una buena amiga Marcela.







(corresponde la sonrisa) callate, tonto...





Walter se aleja silbando triste. Al cruzar la puerta canta "cuando yo te vuelva a ver... no habrá más penas ni olvidos..." Cierra transmisión.

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